The Future & Reality TV

I have a prediction for the future, and an explanation of the present. It all hinges on reality TV, alien abductions, and the eventual development of time travel.

I forsee, at some point in the distant future, reality TV will finally run out of ways to humiliate and demean the people of the Present and in order to keep ratings high and commercial revenue coming in they have to develop ways to ridicule the people of the Past that are more efficient then VH1's "80's Flashback" shows. So finally, at long last, large amounts of funding get devoted to the concept of researching plausible time travel. Ultimately it gets developed, but it only works going into their Past as the people of their Future are smart enough to not want to get ridiculed so shoot all time travelers moving forward on sight.

"But how do we do this best? How do we mock and embarass the people of the Past without changing history?" the television producers ask. And lo, it becomes clear, a sign lights the way and shows them the path to follow. Something hideous and gaudy like the 500th anniversary of the Roswell crash and all the freaks who gather to celebrate it.

"We do it by pretending to be aliens and abducting the most inconsequential fucks from the Past that we can find and screwing with them." they decide and so it gets set into motion. People of the Future travel into their Past ( our Present ) and by data-mining the insane amount of information that the government and credit card companies collect upon the citizenry they manage to pick out those few people whose abduction won't alter history.

But it doesn't end their, good reality TV wouldn't be made just by abducting people and watching them trip out over meeting remote-controlled animatronic aliens, that wouldn't be good enough by far. Instead the abductees get anally raped with a metal probe that has the purpose of stapling onto the tail end of their spinal column a bio-organic broadcasting device and then the abductee is set free once more upon the world.

Now the good television really begins. The people of the Future, assholes one and all if the developing trends of youth today are any sign towards future behavior, sit back with their popcorn and watch these poor fools of the Past stumble about and try to convince people that aliens from another star have not only abducted them, but also probed their nether orifices in order to try to make intelligent contact with the people of Earth.

Pure. Television. Gold.