Focus

I lack focus.

I think that is the best way to describe it.

While it is easy to focus on work, usually because they are relatively short projects. Even the big huge e-commerce, b2b, and XML conversion stuff I do is so simple for me these days that I get it done in far less time then I have to do them in and tend to have to find ways to pad my billing hours. Plus I find that getting paid for it is a wonderful motivator.

But on my personal projects...

I have fifteen writing projects that are currently floundering because I just don't focus on any single one of them long enough to get it finished. Most of them have outlines and some of them have pretty huge chunks written, others are just character sketches and world building stuff. None are in any danger of getting finished anytime in the near future it seems.

I have four web-comic projects that have character sketches, storyboards, longer story-arcs scripted out, but no completed pages to put up and show off.

I have three supergroups I am nominally a leader or officer in split between CoH and CoV. Two of them I haven't done crap for in quite a while, the third I manage to force myself to pay attention to largely because I made promises to people that I would keep it up and going.

I have my website that has a couple half-built new iterations but right now stands as just a splash page with a link to my Amazon.com wishlist and my guide site.

I haven't touched the guide site for several days, despite having a bunch of content just needing formatting to go up for it.

I lack focus. Or follow through. Or dedication. Not sure which is the best term. I get distracted too easily by new projects or ideas.

I've spent a bunch of free time in the last couple days posting up on a Necromunda forum because it caught my attention again, oddly enough despite not playing for years I still know the rules better then some of the people on there.

After talking about Full Metal Alchemist tonight over on Doyce's website I have an urge to throw togethor a wiki site for it.

I am left wondering how much of this is just because I get bored easily. How much of it is because I dislike routine or obligations or authority. How much of it comes from my co-joined twin fears of success and failure.